BDSM
BDSM is a consensual, agreed and often erotic interaction that involves elements of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, or sadism and masochism.
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The practice is characterized by a great diversity, but typically involves a mental role play where the partners take on complementary roles towards each other. The main types are dominant and submissive and sadist and masochist. Some go in and out of roles in limited erotic play, as a single act, often as an addition to sex that is not BDSM.
For others, the roles represent a stable identity or a basic and unavoidable ignition pattern. The latter group will be able to say that they are attracted to a certain role as others are attracted to a certain gender, and are considered to be a sexual minority. For some, it can be difficult to ignite ordinary sex, or form intimate relationships, without BDSM elements. BDSM can therefore be understood as a phenomenon that ranges from action to orientation.
History
BDSM is a term that has replaced the word sadomasochism, or SM, which is inspired by activities described by Marquis de Sade (sadism) and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (masochism).
Historically, the practice has been considered to be deviant sexual behavior (paraphilia), and described as an expression of mental disorders. Fetishism and sadomasochism were removed from the diagnostic lists in Norway in 2010.
In the upcoming ICD-11, these will also be taken out internationally. ICD-11 also distinguishes between violence and BDSM. This distinction must be considered as an important recognition of BDSM as a normal variation of sexuality and consensual sexual practices.
Interaction
Fundamental to all BDSM activity is that control is voluntarily transferred from one person to another. Mutual trust is essential. The role one takes does not depend on gender or age. Some will have fixed roles throughout life, in others it will vary over time and in different relationships.
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An absolutely necessary framework for safe exercise is negotiations on boundaries in advance. This should be as specific as possible to ensure that all parts of the interaction are mutually desired. Some people use a so-called BDSM form first, which is filled out by both parties and then reviewed together as a starting point for play.
It is important that those who engage in BDSM can end the interaction whenever they want. The dominant must trust that the submissive is able to assess their own limits and immediately speak out in the event of unwanted emotional, psychological or physical discomfort.
Where the word "no" is agreed to be part of the game to contribute to the excitement, other stop words are used. "Red" is an international stop word that means you want to end the activity.
After BDSM play, many have a form of cuddle, or so-called "aftercare", where one takes care of each other, normalizes the relationship and talks about how the interaction is experienced.
Pain
For someone who practices BDSM, pain can be the key. Among these, the role of sadist means that one experiences pleasure by inflicting voluntary pain on another human being.
Pain can be inflicted in many ways, for example by whipping with equipment or spanking with the bare hand.
This can cause skin redness and bruising, but it is usually a point not to inflict permanent damage.
In a sadomasochistic interaction, this can mean that whipping takes place according to a system where one begins with weak whipping, so that the body secretes substances (opiates / endorphins) that provide a general pain relief and can eventually provide pleasure.
Gradually, the intensity of the whipping can be increased, and the body will secrete larger amounts of these substances, so that the pleasure is also stronger. Those who have the masochistic role experience pleasure in receiving pain.
This requires a great deal of security and trust, which in itself can be a good experience. However, pain is not a requirement for the game to be defined as BDSM.
Power
For some, the exchange of power may be central to sexual arousal. This can, for example, be about giving or being given commands, following rules, or physical deprivation of liberty in the form of bondage or so-called bondage. Common roles are dominant and submissive.
It is considered a declaration of responsibility to accept a submissive partner, and a declaration of trust to accept another as its dominant partner, as this means giving the person in question control over parts of oneself. Symbolism is often used, as symbols of ownership, fidelity or devotion, to reinforce the experience of the exchange of power.
Bondage
Binding, or bondage, can mean that you are tied with rope, leather straps or tape, handcuffed or otherwise, with the consequence that you can not move. Japanese bondage, known as shibari or kinbaku, uses long ropes in symmetrical, aesthetic patterns. The technique is inspired by samurai traditions, but has spread throughout the world.
Information taken from Store Norske Leksikon